Some enchanted evening (in which Anjali looks at shops)

No I feel sleepy I'm not inspired, arghgrrrrrrarghle zzzzzzzzzzzz.

Narcolepsy is when you fall asleep randomly, if the Rat Race is to be believed (and why not?) zzzzzzzz.

I've been watching the Sound of Music over and over again, sometimes with the director's commentary, and thinking things such as: this actually is a very good film, wow this guy's performance here is amazing, ahhhhhh. Also: when you see it as a child, the Baroness is evil personified, but now she is quite admirable even. See her especially in the 'calling it off' scene. And she looks so young! I'm sure that lots of guys I know would prefer her to Maria. But then, some of the guys I know are quite twisted. And I DON'T mean that as a compliment! Twisted in a way that is petty and self-absorbed. zzzzzzzzzzzz.

So I walk through the streets of Edinburgh as a love song to this city. Lights and glitter and sweet sweet smells, and everyone is out, everyone is happy. Everyone is wearing boots. I notice this because I am thinking about shoes, which I need to buy. I have spent more than a year in shoes I have never really liked; now finally they are falling apart. I go into shoe shops. I already have my eye on a few things. I'm never really sure how shoe shops work. Are you allowed to take things off the racks and try them on? Do you have to wait to be served? Do they have to bring them from a back room in boxes? Shoeboxes. Ha ha. I can't properly explain why I find that funny. I try some on but feel illegitimate in shoe shops, like they might shoo me away. Shoo. Pff. To be honest I feel like that in most shops. 'Who is this girl and what is she doing? She's doing it all wrong! How old is she anyway? Why is she by herself? Is she mocking us? Is she? ' This is what they are all thinking. Plus I am perpetually hungry, which makes me feel even more like a street urchin.

I put the shoes on, surreptitiously. People hover. I make funny faces to emphasise that I am thinking and know perfectly well what I'm doing. I shuffle my feet about a bit. Yes. Just buy them, otherwise you won't buy them, ergo you won't get them. Stand in line, smile, hand them over, yes yes I have a card, see, here in my hand, that's how much I know what I'm doing. In pin out. Oh thankyou. I never get round to saying 'no I don't need a bag', in time. So I walk out with this ridiculously large and posh-looking paper bag. It has stripes on it. What an idiot I feel. So here's the after-Office routine: take out shoes, put them in my bag, crush up lovely posh Office bag and put in bin. I have done this before. In August my chappals (flip flops) broke and I had to buy some more. In that case I think they went straight on my feet. Might I have been barefoot? It's definitely a possibility.

I need to buy clothes in general and jumpers in particular, I go into shops but there's nothing there that seems right, what am I looking for anyway? I don't know.

The Christmas market has lots of lovely jewellery, and bags, and scarves, and woolen hats. All of which I would love to have but none of which is strictly necessary.

Fopp, and I look at books, because it's the good books in Fopp, and I need to read. What am I doing, surely there's somewhere I need to be? I need to buy a jumper, and presents, and things, and CDs, and DVDs, but 'books' wasn't on the list. I need to buy a life, that's what I need. I need all the paraphernalia of a personality. Labels to stick on the outside. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Fight Club, the book! I pick it up and get drawn into it at many points. It is basically the film, on paper. All the stuff that whatsisname (yes, see how well I know this thing) says over the top. I love this book. I love this - thing. But surely I should just buy the DVD. I looked at DVDs yesterday, while I was really looking at CDs, or shoes, or something. I want to own some DVDs. I looked at Garden State - yes, I can handle it now - it has nothing to do with anyone else. I even looked at Donnie Darko. And Down with Love...to be honest, they didn't have very many there, it was the little HMV. The Notebook? Pff. I was actually looking for Havana Nights, but it wasn't there. zzzzzzzzzzz

And goodness, there are a lot of rahs in Edinburgh. I'm not sure whether I'd noticed this before, but now I'm sort of tuned in to rahs. And I was walking down a street and looked up randomly and saw Jack Wills and thought hah. Hah. Hah. And in my quest for clothes I went into Miss Selfridge (?) and realised that most of the people I know in Durham would not be out of place there. The music was very Durham. How interesting, that Durham is a side to Edinburgh where I would not normally go. If that makes sense. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

I bought two books. One was only three pounds - 'A young man is brutally assaulted late at night in an Underground train ...on discharge from the hospital, Carl picks up the threads of his daily life...until he starts to notice strange leaps in his perception of time, distortions in his experience. Is he truly reacting with the outside world, or might he be terribly mistaken?' And it's illustrated by woodcuts. So why not?