I've just been to a lecture, and I feel I should congratulate myself whenever I do something like this. I missed five last week, plus a tutorial. I'd started to forget about this degree business. So I'm panicking a bit.
Every day feels like a new and experimental life. Like when you've come back from the dead, or someone you know has died, or you've taken the day off to take the train to Wales. You're divorced from routine or responsibility. You're in a special pocket of existing, in fact when you sit in a room full of other people on computers you suspect you might only be a trick of the light.
I really should work.
I've been given a new life!
I am so free!
I am going to be responsible about this!
I am going to do something else that defies logic!

Today I sat in Esquires and read the deaths notices from start to finish
(If I go home I can finish that pizza)
Some sort of emotional masochism? I needed to feel
I wanted to sit in a coffee shop and plumb the depths of people's experience
Goodness I feel funny. All I had today was one large ('ampio') cup of coffee ('latte') with raspberry syrup. Now it's 3 o'clock. I'm floating
That was one thing - bearable and sad and important - every day people's lives are being changed. Everybody dies, and today these particular families are face to face with the abyss under existence and through the cracks in carefully constructed lives it's the same thing. And families and love and all the churches and flowers and how many are Christians? I hoped they all were. I made myself believe that they all were.
On the next page was other things - someone's kitten lost - and a year on - maybe a few years on - people remembering the dead. And someone called Ashley who had a poem printed from 'mam and dad', and one from Gran. I went to the toilet and cried like a baby. My heart breaks so often these days. Remembrance day and all those poor boys in the army.
Let's get some books out, but I really need to eat.
I was out of the house at eleven! I experienced sunlight! I went to a lecture and now I'm in the library! It's like being on holiday.
Four hours till rehearsal - hmmm, I could do two hours of reading for my essay? Yes. I could go to Castle library arrrrrrrgh that darn project, I get so frustrated because their ideas are so different to mine.
I am starving.
I was sick last week, don't worry, I'm not that much of a slacker.